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From www.igitondo.com

Byakusanyijwe na VERITE FULGENCE MU.




Ni gute wabona umuhungu wagira inshuti yawe (boyfreind)

Ushobora kuba wicaye ugatekereza ugasanga ukeneye umuhungu ukubera inshuti cyangwa se ukeneye undi umuhungu w’inzozi zawe. Muri iyi nkuru uraza gusobanukirwa uburyo umukobwa yabona uwo bakundana yishimiye. Uraza no kubona impamvu abakobwa batari beza na gato babona abasore b’uburanga bwiza kandi babakunda cyane ; ahanini ibi bikaba biterwa n’uko bene aba bakobwa akenshi baba bafite umutima wihangana kandi wuje urukundo rwinshi.

Dore ibintu by’ingenzi ugomba kugenderaho bikagufasha kubonma inshuti y’umuhungu :

1. Niba ubonye umusore wishimiye gerageza kumwenyura umwereka ko urangwa n’inseko nziza

Nk’uko twabibagejejeho mu nkuru iheruka, abagabo benshi bakururwa n’inseko z’abakobwa. Niba ubonye umusore ukumva umwibonyemo kandi yakubera umukunzi, ntuzigere uzuyaza kumusekera kuko burya n’ubwo uba ntacyo umubwiye n’umunwa uba utanze ubutumwa bukomeye cyane butagira ijambo (non-verbal message). Iyo ubikoze gutyo bituma yumva yatera intambwe ya mbere akubaza amakuru yawe.

2. Gerageza kwiyoroshya (be approachable)

Aha ngaha niba uri inkumi ugakubitana n’umusore w’inzozi zawe, ukabona ari umuhungu ukunda kuganiriza abakobwa, wowe uza mureke ntugire icyo ukora gusa ujye ugerageza kumusekera, kumureba indoro nziza ndetse nibiba ngombwa unacishemo umwicire akajisho hanyuma ukomeze ukore ibyo wakoraga; yewe niba wanagendaga wikomereze urugendo. Gusa ariko ibi byose ugomba kubikora mu kinyabupfura kandi ugashyiramo n’ubwenge, ukamenya niba uko uteye byamaze gukurura uwo musore. Ibi numara kubigeraho; umusore wamaze kumwemeza, ibindi bisigaye we azabyikorera. Gusa uzakomeze wiyoroshye kugira ngo ejo utamuca integer akisubirirayo.

3. Gerageza gutuma umusore avuga (Mwinjize mu kiganiro)

Umuhungu ntiyapfa kumenya niba wishimye cyangwa ubabaye, nyamara wowe ukeneye ko abimenya. Niba muvuganye, gerageza umuganirize ku buryo mutandukana agishaka kukuganiriza ndetse afite n’amatsiko yo ku kumenya kurushaho. Jya ushaka uko waryoshya nicyo kiganiro, umubwire ariko ukore ku buryo umusiga agikeneye kukumenya kurushaho.

 Nk’igitsina-gore, gerageza kwiyoroshya umere nk’uko bisanzwe, n’ubwo bitoroshye kwitwara uko usanzwe mu gihe uhuye n’umuhungu wakunze. Muri iki gihe, ujye ugerageza kuvuga ururimi usanzwe ukoresha kandi unavuge amagambo yoroshye, yumvikana. Ikindi ugomba kwitaho ni ukagerageza gukurikiranya ibitekerezo neza kandi ubiha ubusobanuro bwiza. Ibi byose ubikora kugirango uwo muganira aryoherwe koko.

 Gusa ariko, ibi ntibivuze kuvuga amagambo menshi icyarimwe ngo undi abure akanya ko kuvuga anarambirwe. Si icyo bivuze, habe na mba. Vuga amagambo make ariko arimo ubwenge ashobora gutuma uwo muganira agira amatsiko bikamutera kukubaza ibibazo byinshi; noneho wowe ukagenda umusubiza ikibazo ku kindi. Mu kumusubiza, gerageza kujya umushyira mu gihirahiro ari nabyo bizatuma ashaka umwanya munini wo kukuganiriza.

4. Shaka ikintu w’ivugaho, cyangwa se umubwire amateka y’ubuzima bwawe (anecdotal story)

Niba uhuye n’umuhungu ubona wazakubera inshuti ku buryo mbwimbitse, gerageza kumwibwira nibura ho gato ku buzima bwawe. Ushobora kumubwira ibyo ukunda cyangwa ibyo wanga cyangwa se ukamubwira inkuru y’ibintu wa bonye n’ibyo waciyemo.

5. Reka yiyumve nk’uw’agaciro

Aho kugira ngo ukomeze kwivuga ibigwi wowe wenyine, gerageza no kwereka uwo muri kuganira ko afite agaciro imbere yawe kandi nawe umuhe umwanya akwibwire anakuganirize. Ikindi kandi niba hari ikintu afite utakunze reka guhita ubimwereka ako kanya bitamuca intege.

6. Reka kumujora umusesereza

Hari uburyo bwiza ushobora kunenga umuntu ariko utamukomerekeje; uburyo ukoresha rero nta bundi ni ukumuganiriza mugaseka kuko ushobora gukosora umuntu ubicishize mu rwenya. Ikindi ni uko ushobora nawe gushaka uburyo bundi wabikoramo ariko butamutera kumva ko wafashe umwanya umugenzura..

7. Irinde uburakari bwa hato na hato

Niba avuze ibintu ntibigushimishe, reka kwitwara nk’umwana muto ngo uhite wirakaza. Gerageza ahubwo guhita ushaka uburyo bwiza bwo kumugarura mu biganiro bikuryohera maze nawe ahite abona ko ibyo yari akoze atari byiza.

Muri iki gihe ntuzagire ubwoba bwo kuba wamukura muri icyo kiganiro utakunze cyangwa ibyo yita urwenya kandi bitari kukunyura kuko numwihorera azumva ko ari byiza ubutaha azabisubire. Gusa uzibuke kumukebura mu kinyabupfura kugira ngo utamukomeretsa.

8. Mugenere umwanya muri gahunda zawe

Kimwe mu bintu bikomeza ubucuti ni uguha umusore ukunda umwanya mu byo ukora kuko urukundo rusaba igihe. Numwihorera ntumuhe umwanya bizatuma nawe yigira muri gahunda ze zitandukanye no mu zindi nshuti ze bityo n’ urukundo rwanyu ntirukure ngo rutere imbere. Ushobora kuba udakunda kuboneka ariko gerageza umuhe akanya gato bizatuma abona ko afite akamaro mu buzima bwawe. Ujye umushakira n’ahantu heza ho kuganirira kugira ngo abone umwanya wo kugutekerezaho kuko ushobora gusanga nawe yari yarasanze uri umukobwa w’inzozi ze. ni byiza kandi ni na ngombwa ko umuha umwanya wo kumva ko akwegereye kandi ko umuri hafi.

9. Ba uwo uriwe

Niba uri kuganira n’umuntu cyangwa se niba ushaka ko umuntu agukunda geragaza kuba uwo uriwe (be yourself), ntushake kwifata/kwitwara nka runaka wundi. Mu gihe uzaba ushaka kwigira uwo uteri we bizatuma wumva udatekanye muri wowe kuko hari undi umuntu uzaba ushaka kwigira we bitandukanye n’uko uri. Gushaka kwigira uwo uteri we bizatuma unanirwa kumuganiriza, bitumen n’ubushuti bwanyu butaramba.

10. Mwereke ko umwitayeho

Gerageza kumwereka ko ibyo arimo kuvuga bigushimisha niba kandi bitarimo kugushimisha ba imfura umubwire ko ibintu arimo kuvuga bitari kukubaka; ubimubwire umwenyura aho kuvuga wazinze umunya.

Icyo usabwa kwibuka ni ukuba uwo uriwe buri gihe ubonanye n’umusore ukunda cyangwa ubona uzagukunda. Irinde gukoresha amagambo arimo imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane mu magambo uvuga kuko ashobora guhita abona ko ari cyo wishakira.

Uzibuke ko uburanga bw’inyuma atari byose ku musore kandi wirinde guhangayikishwa n’umubano wanyu mu gihe utarakomera; hejuru y’ibyou urenze ho kwiyoroshya no kwiha umutuzo (relax).

 Niba wiyemeje kubikora utya dore inama nkugiriye:

 Ntuzakore ibintu uzicuza mu buzima bwawe bwose,

 Shaka umuhungu kuko wumva umukeneye akandi ukareba uzakuba iruhande rwawe buri gihe,

 Ntuzicuze igihe uzabona ubushuti bwanyu bugupfanye kuko igihe kiba kizagera ukabona undi kandi w’inzozi zawe,

 Ntuzatume aguhindura mu buryo bwo kugusubiza inyuma, ntuzabyemere kuko atazaba atagukunda,

 Uzirinde gukora ibintu bidahwitse mu maso y’umusore ukunda kuko bishobora kukuviramo kubegwa ako kanya.